[Even though he gave him the tea, a look of genuine surprise crosses his face, Mary escaping his grasp. Well. That is not what he expected but sure. He'll go with it.]
Ah, yes. She is, unfortunately, a haunted doll so it's not surprise that she looks somewhat... gruesome.
[He has no idea if shittalking his doll is a good idea so he tries to avoid it but oh well. He goes back to trying to wrangle her.]
I'm surprised you don't like your classes, though.
[Akechi shoves her down into the bag and ties it back up as he listens to his words. As he suspected, they feel the same thing in the end. Just because he had 'hope' that drove him to keep trying doesn't negate the emptiness, the exhaustion, the listless moments spacing out. While Akechi hasn't drank that tea, he does think he should try to follow a similar rhythm in conversation for now.]
I remember once, in frustration with myself, searching the internet for that feeling. And when I found something that described my feelings, I actually became more angry over it. Sure, something was wrong with me, but not like that. That was just... shameful.
[Right. Get to the point for him.] I say this because I understand what you're trying to describe. It's empty and faraway and you lose hours to nothing and in the morning it feels like moving a mountain would be easier than getting up. Something like that?
You don't have to feel anything about it. Or if you don't have anything grateful to say, that's fine. [He wasn't lying about having class material for Minato, though, so he does set that on the table.] I did say I would accept you as my friend regardless of what you view as your downfalls. And I still mean that. You're... well, depressed. You don't have to push yourself in those ways at least.
[ He sits down at the table across from Goro. He pulls out some of the notes to glance over them. ]
I always have to push myself. I'd never do anything otherwise. I'm too lazy. I went to the cafeteria because I got hungry. [ That was a dumb thing to say. ] Well obviously. I don't think I ate yesterday. Actually that cup ramen might be from yesterday. No, that doesn't matter. You didn't ask about that. Um. I guess you could say I'm sad, yeah. It's probably about Vista Virs. It was nice, and the people were weird, and I'm getting tired of watching others die. But there's nothing to be done about it now so... I guess I'm waiting to get over it. Or I'll ruin everything I've built up. That would suck, but, well. I dunno.
[ He huffs, annoyed. Why does he feel the need to talk so much?! ] This is out of character for me, which I don't hold very highly, but I usually can't think of words good and now I feel the need to talk like an idiot. Did you do something?
[There is a lot to unpack in all of that and Akechi would, except Minato happened to wander his way over to the source of his current troubles. Well. That was inevitable, really, but he had been hoping to talk to him more before then. A guilty look flashes over his face before he composes himself, though he can't help grimacing still somewhat.]
My apologies for betraying your trust but I was... well... [Might as well be honest now.] I've been worried about you. You weren't coming to class and I know you've been rightfully depressed over everything that happened to your world, so I was worried the mission had made things worse. Don't worry. All it does is make you talk more than normal. It isn't some truth-telling sort of thing.
[He thinks. Again, he needs to doublecheck that later but right now he sounds absolutely certain of it.]
Well at least my dumbassery is just as good exposed to be a lie or a truth. [ What the fuck just left his mouth. ] That didn't make sense. At least both my lies and truths are bad. No. They're... Ugh. Fuck it. I don't remember what I was trying to say.
So what is it? A spell? Or is it like. A detective super power that detectives get. I knew a police officer but he wasn't a detective. He sold us weapons. Oh. I guess he's dead now too. How am I supposed to read and talk so much at the same time? This is going to make going over your notes difficult.
Actually he's not used to Minato talking this much. It's surprisingly hard to respond.]
No, it wasn't a spell and I don't have detective super powers, unless you count getting blackmail information out of Shadows? But I can't do that anymore obviously. No, it was just the tea. [Pause.] Though yes, I suppose it would be hard to study and talk at the same time. My apologies for that one. Did you say a police officer sold you weapons?
Yeah. [ He frowns at the cup in his hand, still half full. ] You betrayed me with food. What an asshole. I like food. Maybe I should betray you with something. Like. I don't know. Something. This isn't going well. See, if I wasn't compelled to talk that would have been funny. Or confusing. It usually confuses people. It would have been funny to me.
Ahh... Yes, I am an asshole sometimes. I'm sorry. As I said, I was worried about you and wanted you to talk to me about you, ah, well, your feelings. But I think you're funny?
[A beat.]
Well. It is a very dry humour that I'm getting used to but really all that matters is that you entertain yourself.
Are you trying to match every thing I say with a comment? That seems tiring. And the opposite of an interrogation. Isn't this an interrogation? Maybe you'll answer my questions instead. You said something about Shadows. Getting blackmail from them. How does that work? I only knew one Shadow that would talk to us and he was a really weird case. They mostly attack. Or stand in hallways looking menacing. Or run away screaming if they're weak. That was always fun.
[Did Minato just call him tiring or his way of talking tiring?? Both are bad. Sigh.]
It was fun. [Being overleveled was great.] But ah, at least in the Metaverse, people often had Shadow versions of themselves. Consider them something like what we saw in the caverns on the last mission. I could interrogate them for information on facts they were hiding, like if they were extorting money or seeing an underage girl or assisting in drug trafficking or anything like that, then I brought the information to Shido so he could blackmail them. Shadows have no filter as a general rule so it wasn't hard to even find ways of getting proof.
[ Minato meant he himself would be exhausted if he tried to keep up with every thread of conversation. See, this is why he should keep such comments to himself! Which he would do if he wasn't just spitting out the first thoughts that came to mind because of this stupid need to speak!! ]
A Shadow version of themselves. Huh. Um. Hmmm. Where did you find them? Well, the Metaverse. Is that what you call the Dark Hour? But we didn't meet anyone like that in Tartarus. Which you couldn't see from Tokyo. Does Ryoji-san count? Did they have Shadows shoved into them too? Are there more anti-Shadow weapons?
[Oh is this how it is talking to him when he has questions? But he will do his best to answer them all efficiently.]
The Metaverse is a separate layer of reality somewhat integrated into our own, so it's quite possible it's just a different name for the same phenomenon. Most people can't access it. But yes I haven't ventured outside of Tokyo so it's also possible it takes different shapes outside of it? I wish we had Wakaba's research... [Well. They wouldn't have that either way since the world was destroyed.] Either way, um, I haven't heard of anti-Shadow weapons. I was the only Persona user I knew about until I met the others but for years it was just me. My father trained me a bit but he didn't have a Persona, he just knew how it worked. I don't know who Ryoji-san is? But I did have suspicions about Morgana, though I don't know what he was.
Never heard of Morgana. Or Wakaba. [ Does Goro know the people in the Velvet Room? ] Elizabeth? Igor? Hm. I remember. If we ever bring our worlds back and everything goes correctly I have to bring Shido up to Mitsuru-senpai. He's a politician, right? I don't think anyone outside of the Kirijo Group is supposed to know about Shadows. It's dangerous. Even if we eliminate the Dark Hour. Who's Wakaba?
The Kirijo Group...? I've heard of them. Are they involved in all of this? But, ah, Wakaba Isshiki was a researcher, though I don't know who she worked for. She dubbed all of this 'Cognitive Psience'. I admit I don't know much about her... Shido knew her before I ever even met him and he wasn't fond of telling me personal details, not that I always particularly wanted to hear about them depending on the subject. [If it was about a woman, he just did not want to hear it, so that was fine.] But yes, he is a politician. I don't know of an Elizabeth or Igor. Akira said a God manipulated our circumstances, though, if that's related?
['Igor' is just the kind of name he assumes a bad guy would have.]
[ A god? ] How does that work? Aren't gods brain beings? Hm. Maybe if enough people call to it... Anything's possible I guess. I don't know much about this stuff. Nyx wasn't really a god. Not the way the others are. People didn't make her. Wakaba Isshiki. I'll bring her up too. If this works. Which I doubt. People don't come back from the dead.
[ He goes quiet for a moment -- and then starts clicking his tongue, because he has to do something, though it's not very satisfying, before he remembers Goro's question about the Kirijo Group. ]
They did experiments. Like what you went through. I assume. I don't know how they worked.
"Brain beings"? [That is. Not a way he has ever heard Gods described? Ever. The rest is mostly fine—he agrees that the dead don't come back unless they make it here first apparently—but the last bit makes him pause.]
Ah, I see. Well... I don't know if I was experimented on but I suppose I was, in a way. Shido didn't know any other Persona users. All the things he had me do were just learned from Wakaba's research. But I don't know what was in it or where she drew her conclusions. Thinking about it like that, I don't really know much about my abilities at all, just that I had a unique one even among the others. It would be nice to talk to your friend about it, though, or have any sort of guidance at all.
[Wait. Fuck.]
I didn't mean to make this about me. I'm not worried about me.
[ He would answer the brain beings question, but he gets distracted but all the other stuff Goro says. ]
It's about whatever we talk about. That's how conversation works. [ Duh. ] Unless you had something specific you wanted to talk about. Then you should talk about that. But I'm sure Mitsuru-senpai would like to talk to you too. Ah. Now I want this to work so I can find you. Or my world's version of you, anyway. The Director said we weren't really from the same, uh, stuff? Time? Not quite time. I don't know. We could be from the same world and interacted before but the ones here aren't necessarily exactly the ones we knew. Like when you switch masks in front of people. You could have chosen a different mask once and that would be another version of you.
[Listening to Minato explain this is an odd experience. From people like Ryuji and the others of that place, he knows there was another 'him' and resents that fact. But if this is true, then he wonders if this Akira is his Akira? He can't be. This Akira lived and Akechi was dying, mostly dead, as the Hunger descended. Which means his Akira is dead. Ah. All of the ones he tried to spare are gone, huh? The only ones left aren't his but he doesn't care about them any less in this moment. Still, if this works out somehow and they restore their worlds, what then?
And if this works, some other Akechi might benefit but he won't. If they're sent back, it won't matter. He'll be dying and alone and with the memories of friends he won't see again. Fuck.
There are too many emotions happening right now so he squeezes them down until they're quiet for now. Focus on Minato. Just what Minato is saying. But even then, he can only muster a soft laugh.]
I see... Well, I was dying, so if you want to try to save me, we have to hope whenever you're sent back is before then. [But.] And even in that case... I swore myself to that path a few years ago. You'll have your work cut out for you depending on the timing.
Oh. I forgot. Ummmmmmm. [ Crap what should he do?! Apologize? ] Sorry. I need to stop doing that. I keep reminding Shinjiro-san that he's dead too. It upsets him. I don't know why. He chose to die there. Is there a way to bring that up in a, uh, a not upsetting way? Probably not. I need to stop reminding people that they died. Uh, does this upset you? Ummm. Oh god. Think of something else.
[ He grabs more of the papers sitting between them and holds them up. ] How are classes going?
[That is actually very sweet. Akechi smiles and shakes his head.]
Don't worry. It's fine. I only reminded you to warn you that it might be difficult, that's all. It doesn't upset me. [Well. It does somewhat but more because he's starting to enjoy being alive these days but he's not thinking about any of that right now. He refuses.] Though, you probably should try to keep it in mind for your friend at least.
[ Well... As long as he hasn't upset Goro. He doesn't want to break their friendship. He places the papers back down, carefully, as he talks. ]
We would have to defeat Nyx first anyway. And I can't remember how that was going. If we were beating her, or losing, or evenly matched. It's kind of... missing. But not really. More like... I'm not allowed to remember. But. It feels like she brought the Hunger to her. And if she did, what else could she call on? Well, I guess that's pointless to dwell on. We all knew we could die, and probably would. I guess I just thought I would -- Shit. [ He's talking about death stuff again! aaaaaaa ] Ah. Sorry. Uh. Ask me a question.
[Poor Minato. Akechi is very patient through this since he did it to Minato in the first place.]
Well, um. I am actually curious about all of that? I don't really know much about your circumstances so I'm interested in your friends and the situations you were in and what you were fighting.
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Ah, yes. She is, unfortunately, a haunted doll so it's not surprise that she looks somewhat... gruesome.
[He has no idea if shittalking his doll is a good idea so he tries to avoid it but oh well. He goes back to trying to wrangle her.]
I'm surprised you don't like your classes, though.
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They're fine. I don't hate them. Didn't hate them. It's just... It's hard to keep up. I guess? That's not right. They're far away. No.
[ He makes a disgusted sigh. ] Ugh, whatever.
[ He wants to say something but can't find a way to express it, so he just drinks more of the tea to occupy his mouth. ]
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I remember once, in frustration with myself, searching the internet for that feeling. And when I found something that described my feelings, I actually became more angry over it. Sure, something was wrong with me, but not like that. That was just... shameful.
[Right. Get to the point for him.] I say this because I understand what you're trying to describe. It's empty and faraway and you lose hours to nothing and in the morning it feels like moving a mountain would be easier than getting up. Something like that?
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Yeah. That's pretty close. That's accurate. Weird. How do you -- well you just said how. That's a stupid question. Ummm. Hmm.
[ He's frowning now. Something is definitely up with him. ]
Sorry. I feel like I should say something grateful but I've got nothing. Thanks?
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You don't have to feel anything about it. Or if you don't have anything grateful to say, that's fine. [He wasn't lying about having class material for Minato, though, so he does set that on the table.] I did say I would accept you as my friend regardless of what you view as your downfalls. And I still mean that. You're... well, depressed. You don't have to push yourself in those ways at least.
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I always have to push myself. I'd never do anything otherwise. I'm too lazy. I went to the cafeteria because I got hungry. [ That was a dumb thing to say. ] Well obviously. I don't think I ate yesterday. Actually that cup ramen might be from yesterday. No, that doesn't matter. You didn't ask about that. Um. I guess you could say I'm sad, yeah. It's probably about Vista Virs. It was nice, and the people were weird, and I'm getting tired of watching others die. But there's nothing to be done about it now so... I guess I'm waiting to get over it. Or I'll ruin everything I've built up. That would suck, but, well. I dunno.
[ He huffs, annoyed. Why does he feel the need to talk so much?! ] This is out of character for me, which I don't hold very highly, but I usually can't think of words good and now I feel the need to talk like an idiot. Did you do something?
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My apologies for betraying your trust but I was... well... [Might as well be honest now.] I've been worried about you. You weren't coming to class and I know you've been rightfully depressed over everything that happened to your world, so I was worried the mission had made things worse. Don't worry. All it does is make you talk more than normal. It isn't some truth-telling sort of thing.
[He thinks. Again, he needs to doublecheck that later but right now he sounds absolutely certain of it.]
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So what is it? A spell? Or is it like. A detective super power that detectives get. I knew a police officer but he wasn't a detective. He sold us weapons. Oh. I guess he's dead now too. How am I supposed to read and talk so much at the same time? This is going to make going over your notes difficult.
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Actually he's not used to Minato talking this much. It's surprisingly hard to respond.]
No, it wasn't a spell and I don't have detective super powers, unless you count getting blackmail information out of Shadows? But I can't do that anymore obviously. No, it was just the tea. [Pause.] Though yes, I suppose it would be hard to study and talk at the same time. My apologies for that one. Did you say a police officer sold you weapons?
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[A beat.]
Well. It is a very dry humour that I'm getting used to but really all that matters is that you entertain yourself.
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It was fun. [Being overleveled was great.] But ah, at least in the Metaverse, people often had Shadow versions of themselves. Consider them something like what we saw in the caverns on the last mission. I could interrogate them for information on facts they were hiding, like if they were extorting money or seeing an underage girl or assisting in drug trafficking or anything like that, then I brought the information to Shido so he could blackmail them. Shadows have no filter as a general rule so it wasn't hard to even find ways of getting proof.
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A Shadow version of themselves. Huh. Um. Hmmm. Where did you find them? Well, the Metaverse. Is that what you call the Dark Hour? But we didn't meet anyone like that in Tartarus. Which you couldn't see from Tokyo. Does Ryoji-san count? Did they have Shadows shoved into them too? Are there more anti-Shadow weapons?
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The Metaverse is a separate layer of reality somewhat integrated into our own, so it's quite possible it's just a different name for the same phenomenon. Most people can't access it. But yes I haven't ventured outside of Tokyo so it's also possible it takes different shapes outside of it? I wish we had Wakaba's research... [Well. They wouldn't have that either way since the world was destroyed.] Either way, um, I haven't heard of anti-Shadow weapons. I was the only Persona user I knew about until I met the others but for years it was just me. My father trained me a bit but he didn't have a Persona, he just knew how it worked. I don't know who Ryoji-san is? But I did have suspicions about Morgana, though I don't know what he was.
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The Kirijo Group...? I've heard of them. Are they involved in all of this? But, ah, Wakaba Isshiki was a researcher, though I don't know who she worked for. She dubbed all of this 'Cognitive Psience'. I admit I don't know much about her... Shido knew her before I ever even met him and he wasn't fond of telling me personal details, not that I always particularly wanted to hear about them depending on the subject. [If it was about a woman, he just did not want to hear it, so that was fine.] But yes, he is a politician. I don't know of an Elizabeth or Igor. Akira said a God manipulated our circumstances, though, if that's related?
['Igor' is just the kind of name he assumes a bad guy would have.]
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[ He goes quiet for a moment -- and then starts clicking his tongue, because he has to do something, though it's not very satisfying, before he remembers Goro's question about the Kirijo Group. ]
They did experiments. Like what you went through. I assume. I don't know how they worked.
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Ah, I see. Well... I don't know if I was experimented on but I suppose I was, in a way. Shido didn't know any other Persona users. All the things he had me do were just learned from Wakaba's research. But I don't know what was in it or where she drew her conclusions. Thinking about it like that, I don't really know much about my abilities at all, just that I had a unique one even among the others. It would be nice to talk to your friend about it, though, or have any sort of guidance at all.
[Wait. Fuck.]
I didn't mean to make this about me. I'm not worried about me.
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It's about whatever we talk about. That's how conversation works. [ Duh. ] Unless you had something specific you wanted to talk about. Then you should talk about that. But I'm sure Mitsuru-senpai would like to talk to you too. Ah. Now I want this to work so I can find you. Or my world's version of you, anyway. The Director said we weren't really from the same, uh, stuff? Time? Not quite time. I don't know. We could be from the same world and interacted before but the ones here aren't necessarily exactly the ones we knew. Like when you switch masks in front of people. You could have chosen a different mask once and that would be another version of you.
[ Ugh. Now he's stuck on this. ]
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And if this works, some other Akechi might benefit but he won't. If they're sent back, it won't matter. He'll be dying and alone and with the memories of friends he won't see again. Fuck.
There are too many emotions happening right now so he squeezes them down until they're quiet for now. Focus on Minato. Just what Minato is saying. But even then, he can only muster a soft laugh.]
I see... Well, I was dying, so if you want to try to save me, we have to hope whenever you're sent back is before then. [But.] And even in that case... I swore myself to that path a few years ago. You'll have your work cut out for you depending on the timing.
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[ He grabs more of the papers sitting between them and holds them up. ] How are classes going?
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Don't worry. It's fine. I only reminded you to warn you that it might be difficult, that's all. It doesn't upset me. [Well. It does somewhat but more because he's starting to enjoy being alive these days but he's not thinking about any of that right now. He refuses.] Though, you probably should try to keep it in mind for your friend at least.
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We would have to defeat Nyx first anyway. And I can't remember how that was going. If we were beating her, or losing, or evenly matched. It's kind of... missing. But not really. More like... I'm not allowed to remember. But. It feels like she brought the Hunger to her. And if she did, what else could she call on? Well, I guess that's pointless to dwell on. We all knew we could die, and probably would. I guess I just thought I would -- Shit. [ He's talking about death stuff again! aaaaaaa ] Ah. Sorry. Uh. Ask me a question.
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Well, um. I am actually curious about all of that? I don't really know much about your circumstances so I'm interested in your friends and the situations you were in and what you were fighting.
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