Tch. Like you haven't thought "This guy is weird," or aggravating, or creepy. I've heard it enough. I know. You gave me this tea because I was frustrating you. It's not hard to figure out. When you come back to the orphanage covered in blood and all the other kids start saying you killed someone, and no one believes what you say. When the foster parents pick you because you're low maintenance but then you're just too quiet and creepy for them. "He's unsettling," "he doesn't do anything," "he must be possessed." Well. I guess they weren't entirely wrong with that last one. Uh. Hmmm. [ He brings the cup to his mouth to drink more tea but realizes it's all gone. ] Fuck. I don't want to start humming again. It's annoying.
One, I always think everyone is irritating, so I'm not really the right judge for this. Though yes, going by the conventions of social norms, you are 'difficult' in certain ways that people would find inconvenient to their lives because most people don't actually want to care about or lend empathy to anyone outside their circles. That includes people like us most of all as social pariahs.
And two, I was more worried than frustrated. [He sighs, expression softening.] Because you're quiet in a way that is different from Akira, I don't really... know the best way to help you. But I was worried you were keeping things in so as not to burden others, which I understand. But what I mean, I guess, is that you don't... have to be 'low maintenance' with me. I don't know if that would even be helpful to you, though? If you even want help or... I don't know. [A groan.] Maybe I should have just asked if you want to do something together but I thought it would be a bother.
[He runs his hand through his hair. God, why is he so bad at being a person? The only person he's really frustrated with is himself.]
[ Minato would be happy to be quiet while Goro speaks, but he interjects occasionally with "Yeah"s and "uh-huh"s and "hm"s just to keep his mouth doing something because he has to keep talking. ]
It's not a bother. Well, not worse than anyone else. Everyone's kind of a bother, sometimes. It's just, uhh. It's instinct, I guess. Hmmmmm. I don't know. I don't know the words for talking. It's irritating, and tiring. Yeah. Explaining things is tiring. It takes too much effort. It's easier to talk about other people's stuff. They do most of the talking. They're better at it anyway. And. Ummmmm. I guess I... I'm not used to it? And I don't know the words. Fuck. How do people talk so much. How do you find things to say? Ugh. Can you ask a question so I have something to talk about?
[ He can't talk about this please give him something. ]
[Poor kid. He needs to let him nap when the tea wears off.]
How about Tartarus or Nyx? Unless you'd like to talk about any of the other things you mentioned more. But I'm curious about the differences in our experiences, I suppose.
Tartarus. That's a tower that appears during the Dark Hour -- We call it the Dark Hour [ Obviously there's no reason to explain what "it" is because all Persona users experience the Dark Hour. ]. It wouldn't be visible from Tokyo. It was tall but not in orbit. Probably wanted to be. I didn't know about it until I moved to Iwatodai. Shadows live there. Lived. Sometimes Shadows wandered out of it. Though, never really ran into one growing up. It was more common around the tower I guess. God there's a lot there. Okay. So. Ah. The Kirijo Group were doing experiments with Shadows to, uh, destroy the world I guess? Kill everyone? It's pretty obnoxious to assume that death is the best thing for everyone. But Yukari-san's dad sabotaged it. Uh, he worked there. He was employed by them. And the place was damaged really bad, so they turned the facility into a high school. Anyway. That's why the Dark Hour exists. So. Sorry about that I guess.
That's fine. My life wouldn't have been any better for it not existing.
[The metaverse existing both made his life better and worse so it evens out to fine enough. And in the end, he probably would have just died a meaningless existence around the same time anyway. So whatever.]
But I see... The Dark Hour. We call it the Metaverse but it's fascinating the names we come up with in lieu of anything else. I rather like The Dark Hour. It's a fun name. I have heard of the Kirijo Group but I didn't know they were involved. Well, I can't really check any record now anyway. But that does explain a lot, too. We had some researchers, too, and I suppose in retrospect there were things I was asked to do that were probably testing some things. I know Shido had more than a few things he kept secret from me in those regards but I didn't really have any other way to find out... Well, it doesn't matter now.
[He waves his hand.] So was 'Nyx' a massive Shadow of some sort? Along the lines of the Reaper or something like that?
There's so much death. Okay. I don't know what the Reaper is. A manifestation of shadows chasing you out? When we learned about Ryoji-san I thought it might be targeting me specifically. But you saw it too, so. Guess not. Well. Maybe it was? Maybe it hates people with multiple Personas. Or anyone with Persona. Or anyone. Who knows. No one that's alive. It's gone now anyway. Presumably. But Nyx was Ryoji-san. Kind of. Or. Well. He was part of her. Wait. So. Hold on. The Kirijo Group were trying to create a shadow of the thirteenth arcana. Death. Like when those voices pop up all "You made a friend of whatever the hell"-- Wait. Tarot cards. That's a better uh, thingy, and also, more direct. Uh... Wait. Did you guys hear them too? [ Shit. Was that a unique to him thing? He quickly waves his hand dismissively. ] Nevermind the voices thing. Um. What was I talking about. Shit. Ummm.
Ryoji-san, right. Yukari-san's dad sabotaged their special arcana Shadow. [ Huff. ] So uh. When he did that. The Shadow was partially complete. It escaped. An anti-Shadow weapon was deployed to contain it. She's my friend now. Fuck wait. That doesn't matter. But she couldn't defeat it. And that's important. So she uh. My parents crashed their car because of it. So I was there. And. I don't know how it works. But she saw me, and she shoved it into me, and I guess I grew up with it. But I don't remember it happening. And I never saw him until I was in Iwatodai. Maybe proximity to Tartarus woke him up. And no one but me could see him. A little boy in prison garb. He was kinda creepy. Stared a lot. And he kept interrupting my sleep to talk. [ Scoff. This is clearly the worst part about having a little kid watch you sleep every night. ] After defeating a bunch of big Shadows I guess he escaped somehow? And... Became partially human. Because he was inside of me, and watched me make friends, and wanted friends too. He went by Ryoji Mochizuki. We became friends quickly. He could read me really well. Which. I guess makes sense, looking back on it. Since he was inside of me. Always watching me. Like a creep.
[ He says this with his regular neutral tone, but Goro can probably guess that it's in an affectionate manner. As weird and annoying as Pharos was Minato still liked the kid.
Minato sighs again. He's been talking so much. How are his lungs still working? But his mouth still tingles. He still must talk. When will it end?! ]
Well. Then he remembered he was a Shadow. And he confessed to us, and told us about Nyx. Told us that she was going to kill everyone by turning them into the Lost. The uh. Those zombie-like people. Let's see if I remember. She's not really a god. Or if she is a god, she's more of a god than other gods. Ryoji-san said there wasn't a word for what she is in our language. So I don't think she was really a god. I think she was sort of like... Maybe a sort of. Like. Part of the universe? If that makes sense. He was adamant that she couldn't be stopped. Couldn't be defeated. It's literally impossible. All of that. So of course, we decided to fight her. Only logical.
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Do you usually feel like you're abnormal?
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One, I always think everyone is irritating, so I'm not really the right judge for this. Though yes, going by the conventions of social norms, you are 'difficult' in certain ways that people would find inconvenient to their lives because most people don't actually want to care about or lend empathy to anyone outside their circles. That includes people like us most of all as social pariahs.
And two, I was more worried than frustrated. [He sighs, expression softening.] Because you're quiet in a way that is different from Akira, I don't really... know the best way to help you. But I was worried you were keeping things in so as not to burden others, which I understand. But what I mean, I guess, is that you don't... have to be 'low maintenance' with me. I don't know if that would even be helpful to you, though? If you even want help or... I don't know. [A groan.] Maybe I should have just asked if you want to do something together but I thought it would be a bother.
[He runs his hand through his hair. God, why is he so bad at being a person? The only person he's really frustrated with is himself.]
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It's not a bother. Well, not worse than anyone else. Everyone's kind of a bother, sometimes. It's just, uhh. It's instinct, I guess. Hmmmmm. I don't know. I don't know the words for talking. It's irritating, and tiring. Yeah. Explaining things is tiring. It takes too much effort. It's easier to talk about other people's stuff. They do most of the talking. They're better at it anyway. And. Ummmmm. I guess I... I'm not used to it? And I don't know the words. Fuck. How do people talk so much. How do you find things to say? Ugh. Can you ask a question so I have something to talk about?
[ He can't talk about this please give him something. ]
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How about Tartarus or Nyx? Unless you'd like to talk about any of the other things you mentioned more. But I'm curious about the differences in our experiences, I suppose.
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[The metaverse existing both made his life better and worse so it evens out to fine enough. And in the end, he probably would have just died a meaningless existence around the same time anyway. So whatever.]
But I see... The Dark Hour. We call it the Metaverse but it's fascinating the names we come up with in lieu of anything else. I rather like The Dark Hour. It's a fun name. I have heard of the Kirijo Group but I didn't know they were involved. Well, I can't really check any record now anyway. But that does explain a lot, too. We had some researchers, too, and I suppose in retrospect there were things I was asked to do that were probably testing some things. I know Shido had more than a few things he kept secret from me in those regards but I didn't really have any other way to find out... Well, it doesn't matter now.
[He waves his hand.] So was 'Nyx' a massive Shadow of some sort? Along the lines of the Reaper or something like that?
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There's so much death. Okay. I don't know what the Reaper is. A manifestation of shadows chasing you out? When we learned about Ryoji-san I thought it might be targeting me specifically. But you saw it too, so. Guess not. Well. Maybe it was? Maybe it hates people with multiple Personas. Or anyone with Persona. Or anyone. Who knows. No one that's alive. It's gone now anyway. Presumably. But Nyx was Ryoji-san. Kind of. Or. Well. He was part of her. Wait. So. Hold on. The Kirijo Group were trying to create a shadow of the thirteenth arcana. Death. Like when those voices pop up all "You made a friend of whatever the hell"-- Wait. Tarot cards. That's a better uh, thingy, and also, more direct. Uh... Wait. Did you guys hear them too? [ Shit. Was that a unique to him thing? He quickly waves his hand dismissively. ] Nevermind the voices thing. Um. What was I talking about. Shit. Ummm.
Ryoji-san, right. Yukari-san's dad sabotaged their special arcana Shadow. [ Huff. ] So uh. When he did that. The Shadow was partially complete. It escaped. An anti-Shadow weapon was deployed to contain it. She's my friend now. Fuck wait. That doesn't matter. But she couldn't defeat it. And that's important. So she uh. My parents crashed their car because of it. So I was there. And. I don't know how it works. But she saw me, and she shoved it into me, and I guess I grew up with it. But I don't remember it happening. And I never saw him until I was in Iwatodai. Maybe proximity to Tartarus woke him up. And no one but me could see him. A little boy in prison garb. He was kinda creepy. Stared a lot. And he kept interrupting my sleep to talk. [ Scoff. This is clearly the worst part about having a little kid watch you sleep every night. ] After defeating a bunch of big Shadows I guess he escaped somehow? And... Became partially human. Because he was inside of me, and watched me make friends, and wanted friends too. He went by Ryoji Mochizuki. We became friends quickly. He could read me really well. Which. I guess makes sense, looking back on it. Since he was inside of me. Always watching me. Like a creep.
[ He says this with his regular neutral tone, but Goro can probably guess that it's in an affectionate manner. As weird and annoying as Pharos was Minato still liked the kid.
Minato sighs again. He's been talking so much. How are his lungs still working? But his mouth still tingles. He still must talk. When will it end?! ]
Well. Then he remembered he was a Shadow. And he confessed to us, and told us about Nyx. Told us that she was going to kill everyone by turning them into the Lost. The uh. Those zombie-like people. Let's see if I remember. She's not really a god. Or if she is a god, she's more of a god than other gods. Ryoji-san said there wasn't a word for what she is in our language. So I don't think she was really a god. I think she was sort of like... Maybe a sort of. Like. Part of the universe? If that makes sense. He was adamant that she couldn't be stopped. Couldn't be defeated. It's literally impossible. All of that. So of course, we decided to fight her. Only logical.